And So It Begins
filed on Sunday, January 01, 2006 at 5:08:23 AM CST

Another year gone.  2005 has been put to rest, and now, we all have to take a few days, weeks, or months to adjust to ending all of our dates in '06.  What did 2005 mean to you?  To me, it meant a great many things...

My brother and I got closer this year.  After a bumpy end to 2004, 2005 was much better for us perhaps but until the end.  We spent quite a bit of time together this year, and I'm thankful for it.  My sister, Jenni, and I are on a much better track now than we have been, and I'm very glad for that as well.  I appreciate, almost beyond words, the opportunity she's given me to be part of her life, and I hope that 2006 is for the two of us what 2005 was for me and Len.

Of course, 2005 also led to the birth of my nephew, Jay.  He's such a blessing to Jen's life, but more, he's been a blessing to all of our lives.  Such innocence in his eyes, such vulnerability in his tenderness, such beauty.  Lucky kid, too... he's got two very loving uncles that are going to assist with spoiling him.

My sister, Veronica, and I started talking again this year too.  After my grandfather's visit to the hospital in June, lasting through late July with the hospital and nursing home, getting my mom's side of the family together was a much needed event.  It allowed my sister and I to clear the air, and to rekindle the friendship that we shared in our youth.

Job-wise... well, there's room for improvement, but I'm on the right track.  I admit that it was hard to let go of the Graphic Design portion of my job, and to return to work as a full-time Webmaster, but after that initial transition, I've found that I'm enjoying it immensely.  My boss, Ken, quite often throws suggestions at me.  Some are easier than others, but rarely have I had occasion to say that I couldn't do what was being asked.  It's been a challenge, but I've always loved that feeling of having something that I put together work.  And for the first time in my programming life, I'm responsible for mission-critical applications that must work right.  It's the first time that Alpha Test and Beta Test have been words associated with something I've developed.  In fact, we're probably soon to leave Beta 2 on my current project, and soon I'll have a real, live 1.0 version of a serious set of tools for our company, and that feels good.

It wasn't all flowers and roses this year, of course.  My grandfather's health has deteriorated severely, though, here at the beginning of the new year, his health is probably the best it's been since his trip to the hospital.  However, my responsibility for looking after him and my grandmother continues to be a bit difficult.  It's hard at times to balance my work schedule with my grandfather's doctor appointments (which doesn't get any easier when he tries to schedule the appointments on top of my dental appointments), plus the "friendly" nagging I get when I've decided to stay out with my friends instead of coming directly home.

In fact, on the friends front... Well, thankfully, they've been mostly understanding of what I'm going through, and have been quite supportive.  It's hard at times, as I don't see any of them nearly as often as I'd like to.  Considering that I was out quite a bit while I was living on my own, having moved home, and taking on the responsibility of watching after the grandparentals, I've made a huge adjustment.  Particular here since my grandfather's hospital stay.

Still, I wouldn't shirk the responsibility that I've taken on.  They've been there quite a bit for me in life, and while it's not the easiest thing, neither of their children have been of much aid recently to them, and I doubt that there'd be much going on but them staying in a nursing home otherwise.  Neither of them want that, so I'll do what I can for them as long as I can.

Wrapping up 2005 though, while painful in the aftermath of healing, probably the most important personal thing finally got done.  I'm one step closer to a new mouth, one that I won't be ashamed to openly display.  Sure, the teeth inside will be fake, but, they'll be functional, and that's the best part.  I'll certainly be much better off, both in health, and in self-confidence.

That may be the part I'm looking forward to most in 2006.  My friend Kelly told me she's seen my self-confidence decline over the years, and it'd be hard to disagree with her.  Much of me that is of the attitude that nothing is impossible, it's only finding the method to do it, still exists, however, I think that in my own personal nightmare of a hellish mouth, I lost a lot of the public side of me that just did what I needed to do.  I mean, I used to be quite active in many areas... clubs, organizations, conventions... nothing so much in the last few years of that grand scale.

I think 2006 will turn a lot of that around, and it'll come with my new mouth.  It's been quite awhile since I've been quite excited about what a new year will bring to me, and yet, here I sit at the first of the new year, and know that 2006 will, no matter what comes, be a good year on a personal level.