I'm Lovin' It?
filed on Thursday, May 05, 2005 at 5:01:52 PM CST

Today's "Why do I Bother Using a Drive-Thru?" experience comes from the folks who provide good times and great tastes... you know the one, McDonald's — for food, folks, and fun.  And after the experience in the drive-thru, I deserve a break today.

It starts out with, "Welcome to McDonald's, how may I help you?"

"I'd like:  a Big Mac, just the sandwich;  a Filet o' Fish, just the sandwich;  a large rootbeer;  and a hot caramel sundae, please."

Que an exceptionally long pause.

"Hello?  Err...  Uh...  I mean, what was that?"

*blink*

*blink*

"I'd like:  a Big Mac, just the sandwich;  a Filet o' Fish, just the sandwich;  a large rootbeer;  and a hot caramel sundae, please."

"Okay, thank you, first window."

Drive around, pay my money.  Get to the second window, get a bag, a sundae, and a, "Thank you, have a nice day."

Now, if you're as perceptive as I am, you know that the rootbeer isn't in the bag.  "There was a rootbeer as well," I say politely.

"We don't got no peanuts."

What the bloody fucking hell are you talking about? the voice inside my head screams.  I didn't ask you for any fucking peanuts, I asked you for my fucking rootbeer!  "No, no," I say, somehow remaining calm, regardless of the voice echoing in my cranium.  "There was a rootbeer as well."

Que blank stare.  Suddenly, and almost visually perceptable, the proverbial light-bulb goes off in this rocket scientist's head, and he says, "Oh, a large rootbeer, right?"

Thank the gods... he got it.  I'm seriously starting to wonder if I'm speaking in sanskrit or something though.