Yeah... You Fooled Him...
filed on Wednesday, June 01, 2005 at 11:53:59 AM CST

Have you ever been driving down a highway, maybe an expressway in a populated suburban area?  Cruising along at a decent rate.  Maybe 10, 15, 20 miles an hour over the speed limit?  It's not like you're the only one out there doing it, right?  It's you and everyone in the left lane.  Then, suddenly, up ahead, there's a cop.  And everyone suddenly taps on their break.

I travel the entirety of Interstate 355, a tollway that runs from the southwest suburbs of Chicago, all the way up to then lower edge of the northwest suburbs.  I do this twice daily.  I have my little I-Pass device which allows me to pay my tolls electronically (and only spend 50¢ doing it rather than the $1.00 non-I-Pass users pay in cash).  On any given day of the week, I may bump into an accident on the way to work.  And one on the way home.  Other days it may be clear sailing in either or both direction.  It's about a 35-minute drive if you follow the speed limit.  I can make it in 20.

I admit, I've got a lead foot on the highway.  Still, I don't (except on uber rare occassion, like the one time I was in a hurry to get to the airport, or the other time we were on our way to see Dave Matthews) weave in and out of traffic wildly — and even when I do, I use my turn signal, and only make moves I'm certain I can make.  Usually I try to keep my speed to no more than 15 over.  That may seem like a lot to most of you, but if you live in the Chicago area, you know that the posted speed limit on highways like I-355, I-290, and I-294 are 55 miles per hour.  You also know that doing 55 miles per hour could get you killed, because in the "fast lane," it could be 80 to 85 miles an hour, and it's usually 65 in the "slow lane."

I've also sworn to reduce my speed to 45 mph in construction zones.  I've always been very good about slowing down in construction as it is, or slowing down as I pass vehicles on the shoulder or whatever.  Mostly because it's common safety sense.  However, I've found that on I-355, I don't feel safe going slower than 55 through a construction zone (and I swear, if I get one of those digital tickets for doing so, me and the judge are going to take a drive so I can illustrate what I mean).

You see, on the way home, in the evening, they're setting up to do overnight bridge maintenance along various parts of 355.  They post the construction signs, put out the horses, and so forth.  And I swear to you, even moving over into the right hand lane, driving at 55 miles per hour, people fly up on my ass like I'm a turtle standing still.  If I were to drop to 45 miles per hour, I guarantee you, I would be the cause of an accident.  And while perhaps that's a choice the law wants me to make, it's not one I'm going to do.  I still value my life.

My favorite laugh on the highway though is on 355.  There are two main tollbooths along the way.  One at Boughton Road in Bolingbrook, where I get onto the highway.  The other at Army Trail Road on the north end of the tollway, just before it merges with I-290 to Route 53.  Just after you come out of the Army Trail Road plaza, there's one of those "emergency vehicle only U-turn" spots.  In it, you can typically find a state trooper.  Now, the I-Pass lane runs right through the tollway at 55+ miles per hour, and right on past this officer.  But people don't tend to notice until they're passing him.

And the hit the brakes.

Okay... let me tell you... by the time you've hit the brake, the officer has already tagged you.  If you were going faster than the tolerated fictional speed limit, he will pull you over.  Now, mind you, I've yet to see someone pulled over for doing 75mph on I-355... not that it doesn't happen, just that I've never seen it.  The only thing these people are doing when they slam on their brakes is creating a further traffic hazard.  And bringing attention to themselves.  I'm not saying you shouldn't let up on your accelerator and at least pretend that you'll reduce your speed, but stepping on the break is a bit much.

Still... these are the same people who wouldn't use their turn signal if you paid them to.